History, Re-Written

The Fatah party is holding its convention in Bethlehem. Not an event that would begin to tickle my attention on a normal day. But this being August, with not much work and little else to do besides finding refuge indoors from the stifling heat, the following item caught my eye:

Fatah: Israel behind Arafat's death: Five years after former Palestinian leader's death, Fatah Congress unanimously concludes Israel was behind it, set up inquiry commission to probe matter.

So a political convention concludes – unanimously, mind you – that someone was killed, and then coolly proceeds to set up an inquiry commission to check if this conclusion is true. Fascinating stuff. First you re-write history, then you check whether what you’ve written makes any sense.

While the convention is still in session, the esteemed delegates might consider reaching other unanimous conclusions:

1. Israel does not exist. It is merely a figment of our tormented (and heat-crazed) imagination.
2. Arafat is alive and well. He just took a vacation in the Bahamas, where he’s sipping a margherita with the Lubavitcher rabbi and Elvis.
3. There are no gays in Palestine. The phenomenon does not exist. (Hat tip: Ahmadinejad).
4. The Palestinians did not miss any opportunity that came up to make peace with Israel. Abba Eban is a liar.