Plato Turning in his Grave

Plato must be turning in his grave. When he recommended, 2,500 years ago, that the rulers need to be “philosopher kings”, he could not have suspected that the important post of Finance Minister would be given to the likes of Yuval Steinitz.

Invincible Japanese Man

Surviving a nuclear bomb is pretty impressive. Surviving two nuclear bombs is bloody remarkable.

The Guardian bring the story  of Tsutomo Yamaguchi, the only known survivor of both atomic bombs dropped on Japan at the end of the WW2. He was on a business trip in Hiroshima on August 6, 1945 and suffered serious burns. He returned to his hometown of Nagasaki the following day, in time to catch the second bomb on August 9.

Sometimes a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Forever Flora

I bought this book by Yuval Elbashan as soon as I heard about it. Yuval and I worked together a long time ago and he has since become a prominent social activist in Israel. Naturally, I was curious to read what he wrote. (He also wrote some legal books, but I prefer other means for falling asleep fast).

Ella is a 40-something woman that is coming to terms with her father’s death five years ago, and is finally ready to enter his old flat and clear it up. (This takes place sometime in the 2030s, a futuristic them that is not developed further in the book aside to references to a “digital”, the video-phone of the future). In the flat Ella discovers a bunch of letters that her father – Na’im - wrote to her over the years, mostly in the form of short stories. These stories revolve around Flora, Ella’s larger-than-life aunt, who has seen it all, done it all: married and divorced two husbands, wrote a PhD, engaged in social activism, saved her younger brother from drugs, lived abroad, drove along Route 66… you name it. Flora’s presence in her brother Na’im’s life is so prominent that he names his daughter Flori, after her, but when the daughter grows up she changes her name to Ella. Na’im sees this not as a failure but actually as proof that Ella inherited some of his Flora’s independence and spunk.

Through the stories Na’im writes to his daughter, we are exposed to the lives of this poor family of children of immigrants from Iraq. Na’im and Flora have an older brother who is a womaniser; a younger brother who is an ex drug-addict; and a sister who is evacuated from the Gaza strip in the 2005 “disengagement” plan and whose husband commits suicide. These siblings grew up with a violent father and a submissive mother, and when they grew up each ran in a different direction to get as far away as possible from their childhood home in Jerusalem. Each grapples with the scars, physical but mostly mental, that their father has left them to carry for the rest of their lives.

I loved this book. It covers a lot of ground in terms of Israeli society: immigrants from Arab countries (“sefaradim”), bonds forged in the army, politics, social strife, and much more. Some sub-plots and characters in the book seemed a little “forced”, as if Yuval insisted on inserting his world views into the story even when the fit was not natural. For example, the story of the old Holocaust survivor who lives in the same building as Flora is somewhat under-developed and I suspect it is there to raise the shameful treatment these survivors receive from the establishment. But most of the stories are very touching and are universal in the sense that every reader can find parts of his personal family history in them. Yuval does a beautiful job in creating dialogues between family members that are short but reveal so much of their convoluted and complex relationships.

Towards the end of the book the narrator quotes a short passage from Flora’s PhD dissertation. It is about the “book moment”, the moment in the reading of a book that imprints it in the mind of the reader for eternity. I think not all books have this “moment”, but Forever Flora certainly does. For me, there were two such moments, the second of which was this short passage about “the moment” itself. The first moment was the beautiful theme of the Bakers and the Butlers. I won’t reveal here what this is all about; you’re going to have to read the book.

I have not spoken with Yuval for 15 years. I hope to have a chance soon to tell him personally how much I enjoyed his first novel, and how envious I am of his achievement.

“Lax Rules of Engagement”

The headlines around the world today quote the report in Haaretz about alleged “lax rules of engagement” among IDF soldiers during the recent fighting in Gaza. Needless to add, the Israeli “moral blogosphere” is already taking the higher moral ground and asking for justice.

First things first. War is unpleasant and usually leads to unpleasant things. The Torah sets rules for behaviour during a war precisely because human beings are known to lose some of their humanity in such extreme situations. One doesn’t need to be a genius, and certainly doesn’t need Haaretz, to figure out that if hundreds of civilians died in Gaza, some of them died in circumstances that are far from being pleasant.

Having said that, the outcry is morally reprehensible.

From a legal standpoint, there so-called “testimonies” are worthless. They are based on hearsay or on what the soldiers “believed” happened or “thought” about what others felt. Most of the quotes in the report describe the soldiers’ feelings and personal interpretations. Calling for legal action based on this “evidence” is ridiculous. But of course, those who see crimes in every action of the IDF don’t need much “evidence” to cry foul.

Although there might be, and there probably are, exceptions to the rule – the basic fact is that IDF soldiers are NOT killers. Unlike the Hamas, they do not shoot old women and young children intentionally. If civilians are killed, then it is most likely either a mistake or a result of erring to the side of caution in order to protect soldiers’ lives. An army that does not think first and foremost of its own side’s casualties is immoral and I wouldn’t want the IDF to engage under rules that put the life of a Palestinian above the life of an Israeli.

Most importantly, every Israeli (even those who lead the witch hunt) knows who these IDF soldiers are. Not personally, of course, but these are our sons, our neighbours, our co-workers. I have yet to see an Israeli that will look me in the eye and tell me his soldier son or neighbour or co-worker goes to Gaza and kills for the sake of killing.

A Spin Master

Our next prime minister is a spin master. He started his career as a furniture salesman and has since honed his sales skills to near perfection. His most successful job was ambassador to the UN, where he “sold” Israel in the best possible way. He is still a salesman; the difference is that what he is selling now is himself. Bibi selling Bibi.

Bibi keeps saying, to anyone who will listen, that he’s doing his very best to put together a wide government, a so-called “unity” government. He asked the president to help him in this noble endeavour. He is likely to ask Peres for another 14 days to form his government, so he can continue his valiant efforts to try and coax Kadima and Labour into his government.

But the truth is Bibi is not really interested in a wide government. All Bibi is interested in is, well, Bibi. Had he really wanted Kadima and Labour in his government, he would have made concessions on the political agenda; he would have agreed to rotate the post with Livni (as the election results mandate); he would have eased on the rhetoric against a two-state solution. He has done none of the above, for the reason that his one and only goal is to be prime minister. And alone. And for as long as possible.

So he’s now spinning us all. Expect him to devote a major part of his inaugural speech to his “relentless efforts” over these past weeks to form a “unity” government. Don’t be fooled. He is preparing his excuse for the future, for when his right-wing band of hallucinating morons will lead him to failure. Then he can turn around and blame Livni and Barak for failing to join forces with him now.

Whichever way you spin him, Bibi will land on his feet. As all good salesmen do.

Negotiations

Part of my job is to negotiate business deals. Picture, if you will, the following imaginary discussion between me and a vendor:

Me: I value what you have to sell very much. It is very, very important to me. It is more important than almost everything else.

Vendor: Good. My price is X.

Me: I am willing to pay a very high price for what you have to sell. It is very, very important to me. But your price is too high.

Vendor: Good. My price is still X.

Me: I realise I must make serious sacrifices to buy from you. What you have to sell is very, very important to me. But your price is too high.

Vendor. Good. My price is still X.

Me: I just got a phone call from my boss and he says that no price is too high for what you are selling. His advisors say the same. It is very, very important to all of us. But your price is too high.

Vendor: Good. My price is still X.

Me: I just had a conference call with my entire company, and everybody on the line was in agreement that we have no choice but to pay a very high price. What you have to sell is very, very important to us. But your price is too high.

Vendor. Good. My price is still X.

Me: I just looked back at the prices we paid you in the past and saw that my predecessors have always paid you what you asked for. What you have to sell was obviously very, very important to them. But your price is too high.

Vendor: You know what. Go home. And when you are willing to pay X, come back. Maybe I’ll have what you want, maybe not.

Now substitute "Me” with “Israel” and “Vendor” with “Hamas” and you will get a good picture of what’s been going on in the last few days. Is it a wonder Israel has zero chance to succeed in this negotiation?

Rabbi Aviner Does it Again

A few years ago, I wrote about Rabbi Shlomo Aviner’s twisting of the Halacha to serve his world view. Now it seems that was not an isolated incident.

Aviner recently published an answer to a question about the right attitude one should take towards Baruch Goldstein, the Jewish doctor (!) who murdered 29 Palestinians and wounded scores more while they were praying in Hebron, 14 years ago this week. In an elaborate word-twisting video response, Aviner tried to play it both ways. While taking care to point out that Goldstein was wrong in taking the law into his hands, he still managed to call him a “saint” and said the act cannot be judged separately from the man.

I must be growing old, for I do not feel so passionately against these ugly words as I did when Aviner justified the murder of a captured and bound terrorist a few years ago. I then called it a “license to kill” and expressed a wish rabbis would think twice before saying things that are not only wrong but also cause a big hillul hashem. Aviner’s recent answer deserves to be denounced no less passionately; Goldstein is nothing but a despicable murderer, full stop. No justifications, no mitigating circumstances.

The public outcry in some media outlets prompted Aviner to issue a clarifying answer. More word twisting.

I a truly ashamed that Aviner is such a prominent figure in the Zionist-Religious community in Israel. I am even more ashamed that other rabbis have not condemned his views.

The Big Picture

It’s been one month since the elections in Israel and, in the best tradition of our screwed-up proportional representation voting system, we still have no government. The outgoing government is still technically in charge – continuity of government and all that - but for obvious reasons it can’t make any major decisions. So everything is on hold until Bibi manages to get his coalition together.

So the rockets keep coming from Gaza. And the Bank of Israel announces that GDP will shrink 1.5% in 2009, the worst year ever. And thousands are being laid off every month. And Iran has attained the capability to put together a nuclear bomb. And Syria and Egypt are becoming best buddies again. And the list goes on and on.

Doesn’t anyone get the big picture? Is haggling over politics the right thing to do now? Is calling for the Navy chief to resign because he went to a strip club the most urgent issue on the IDF’s agenda? I open the news and one of the top items tells me that some third-grade singer sucks his thumb when he sleeps on Big Brother.

I guess this problem is not unique to Israel. I read today that several key appointments at the US Treasury Dept. are being held up because someone didn’t pay Social Security on a nanny 20 years ago. So the US financial system is crumbling but the righteous crusaders for political integrity (an oxymoron if I ever heard one) would rather get buried with it than wake up and get the big picture.

Makes one want to scream: wake up already!

And now for something completely different. Talking of “The Big Picture”, it reminds me to recommend this section of the Boston Globe online.

Point of No Return

The head of Military Intelligence told the Israeli government yesterday that Iran has made it past the “nuclear technological threshold”. The only thing that stands in the way of an Iranian nuclear bomb is a decision by the country leaders to move forward and make one. This assessment is in line with that of most Western intelligence agencies and the IAEA.

The ramifications of a nuclear Iran have been discussed ad nauseam so I won’t repeat them here. It seems as if the world understands these ramifications but would rather not deal with them and continue to hide behind diplomatic declarations and useless sanctions. The new administration in the US is busy dealing with other problems, and in any case Obama’s stated strategy is to reach a comprehensive regional deal with the Ayatullahs, in the hope that renunciation of the nuclear programme will be part of this new understanding. The chances of this deal happening are slim at best. Israel, from its perspective, has failed to stop the Iranian nuclear ambitions by relying on the world; the scary prospect of a military strike against Iran is looming larger than ever before.

Iran (Persia) is a nation with a long history of astute and clever leaders, who have used brinkmanship more than once to their advantage. Other leaders have succeeded to reap many benefits for their nations by dangling the nuclear stick cleverly in front of the world. But it remains to be seen whether Shi’ite dogmatism and the mix between religion and state has not weakened the sagacity of the Persians to a point where their judgement is fatally clouded.

I am not optimistic.

Can't Stand Them

I'm in the middle of watching Australia (first half I watched on the Boston-Frankfurt flight; second half I plan to watch on the Frankfurt-Tel Aviv flight I'm about to board). Good movie. But it prompted me to write something I've been meaning to get out of my system for a while: there are some actresses I simply cannot stand! They ruin every movie they're in.

Obviously Nicole Kidman is one of them. In Australia she plays this 1930s English lady that saves her late huband's cattle farm down under. Her acting, especially in the first half where she's still not used to the roughness of the Australian outback and is supposed to be oh-so shocked by everything, is reminiscent of the acting in third-grade movies like Crocodile Dundee.

And here are some others, just off the top of my head: Meryl Streep, quite possibly the most overrated actress on the planet. Jodi Foster, with that stuck-up, constipated look on her face (I guess it's stuck there since Clarice). And don't get me going about Keira Knightley; I have a weakness for British actresses - Emma Thompson is my favourite - but I simply cannot listen to Knightley's whining voice for more than one minute.

By the way, just in case you're wondering, this is not a sexist thing. There are also actors I can't stand. For example, the one-expression nincompoop Hugh Grant. But that's a subject for another post.

Back-Rubber / Back-Scrubber

For the past few hours I've been humming the words to the wonderful song by The Smiths, "Half a Person". For more than two decades now I am in awe of the genius lines of this song, particularly this:

And if you have five seconds to spare

Then I'll tell you the story of my life:

Sixteen, clumsy and shy

I went to London and I...

I booked myself in at the Y... W.C.A.

I said : "I like it here - can I stay?

I like it here - can I stay?

Do you have a vacancy For a back-scrubber?

But only this morning, when I searched for the lyrics, did I realise that the words were "back-scrubber" and not, as I had always thought, "back-rubber". I admit I was sorely disappointed. How much more appropriate it would have been for the clumsy sixteen-year-old to ask about a vacancy for a "back-rubber" at an all-woman hotel. Oh well; I guess that from now on I'll just need to re-adjust the images this song conjures up in my mind.

A New Dan Quayle?

The Obama administration is so slick and organised. Everything runs smoothly. The President's speeches are almost flawless. His chief of staff is a tidiness freak. It promises to be a properly-run, dull and boring administration.

However there is an odd man out: Joe Biden, who seems to be prone to making small gaffes that brighten up our days. Just like good old Dan Quayle.

So there is hope yet. Here's an example (I love how the interviewer's smile spreads when she realises he's put his foot in it):

65 Seats - Why Wait?

Representatives of the various parties elected in last week's election have made their recommendation to president Peres. 65 knesset members endorsed Netanyahu, a clear majority in Israeli political terms (nobody endorsed Livni except her own party). There is no need for further delays: Bibi can form his right-wing government immediately. But for some reason, Bibi and others are calling for a "unity government", a euphemism for adding Kadima (28 seats) to the government, as Labour (13 seats) have stated their preference to remain in opposition.

My question is: what for? Why the insistence on adding Kadima to the coalition? Both Bibi and his band of wild coyotes - Lieberman, National Front, etc. - can finally fulfill their dream of a strong, proud leadership for Israel. To build more settlements; better still, to annex the West Bank. To exterminate Hamas and regain control of the Gaza strip. To stand proud in front of pressures from abroad. To show Arab Israelis where the fish urinates from (to use a Hebrew expression). To nuke Iran. And so on an so forth.

Now that the moment of truth has come, now that the people have finally given Bibi the majority he so craved, now is the time for him to fulfill his vision. I say: let Bibi win! And we'll all stand on the sidelines and watch his performance. Surely he can't be as bad as he was last time. Surely.

Bin Laden Found

A geography professor from California claims he has found Osama Bin Laden. Using mathematical models, the conclusion reached is that the head of Al Qaeda is hiding in one of three buildings in the town of Parachinar in north-west Pakistan. All the US forces need to do now is pluck him out of there (assuming Bin Laden does not read foreign press and has not fled already).

I checked the date; it is not April 1st today, so here's the link to the full story, as reported in The Telegraph.

To me, this story is a beautiful example of the difference between occidental and oriental thinking. Sitting in his comfortable room in UCLA - and smoking God knows what - the esteemed professor has been able to use his oversized brain - and that of his computer - to pinpoint the location of an arch-terrorist on the other side of the planet. The confidence, not to say hubris, displayed by this line of thinking, is nothing short of astounding. It stands in stark contrast to the oriental way of thinking, where things are rarely quantified and categorised in such a rigid manner. Science versus art. IQ versus EQ.

Missing a Flight

What should you do if you get carried away with your duty-free shopping and when you reach the gate, you realise you've just missed your flight.

Well, one thing you do is this:

Somehow I have a feeling she would not have been allowed to carry on like that for three whole minutes at Tel Aviv airport...

Gilad Shalit - The Price (cont.)

Two opinions published today refer to the high price Israel is purportedly about to pay for the release of Gilad Shalit:

Ben-Dror Yemini, in NRG, writing similar things to those I wrote a few days ago.

Chaim Navon, in YNET, giving the Halachic angle.

Some of the reader comments are worth reading too, for a change.

Gilad Shalit - The Price

News this morning is that a deal for returning Gilad Shalit, the Israeli soldier kidnapped by the Hamas in Gaza in June 2006, is imminent. According to the report, Israel will release about 1,000 Palestinians in return for Shalit; 250 of these terrorists will have "blood on their hands", meaning they were directly involved in the killing of Israelis.

A couple of comments on the price Israel pays for its kidnapped soldiers (and civilians).

First, it would do good to remind our Arab neighbours and the world about this price whenever someone brings up the "disproportionate" killing of Arabs by Israelis in times of conflict. If the other side is setting a price of 1,000 Arabs for 1 Jew in a prisoner exchange, then they shouldn't complain when, in a war, more Arabs than Jews are killed. If they were to value life as much as we do, then the exchange would be 1 to 1.

More important, and painful, is the second point. If the deal goes through, Israel will be paying too high a price for Shalit. I say this with a broken heart, as I will be as happy as the next person to see Shalit back home with his family. But emotions aside, the harm will be greater than the gain.

The practice of paying a high price for prisoner exchange started with the Jibril exchange in 1985, a precedent that set the tone for future exchanges. It reached macabre proportions last year, when Israel released live terrorists in exchange for the dead bodies of Regev and Goldwasser. Israeli society has proven, time and again, that it will pressure its government to make unreasonable deals for the return of kidnapped soldiers. For some reason, most Israelis are willing to sacrifice the lives of soldiers and civilians to return kidnapped ones. This is not a hypothetical claim, about future victims of the terrorists being released. During the recent fighting in Gaza, many Israelis were in favour of continuing the operation until Shalit was released, knowing full well that many soldiers will die in the process. Everybody talks about Shalit; nobody talks about the two soldiers in this tank that were killed in the same attack.

I do not undestimate the psychological effect of future soldiers and their families knowing that Israel will go to great lengths to ensure the safe return of soldiers it sends to war. But I fear that the counter-effect of succumbing to irrational deal-making outweighs its benefits. I've been reading Tehillim daily since the capture of Shalit, Regev and Goldwasser in 2006, praying every day for their release. I continue to pray for Shalit to return home safely, and soon. But I pray also for the government of Israel to stand strong not only against our enemies but also against domestic pressure, to consider the national interest before other emotional considerations.

Don't Panic

Reading the commentary in the press/blogosphere about Lieberman's impressive gains in this election (15 seats), one would think Israel is on the verge of annointing Mussolini (not to say Hitler) as its new supremo. Bye bye democracy.

Just as the tirade against Lieberman during the election campaign was a lot of hyperbole, so the current "end of the world as we know it" commentary is way off the mark. Lieberman happens to have a hulking figure, fleshy lips, a beard and portruding, unblinking eyes - an altogether intimidating physical presence (the kid that beat his son up can testify to that). And he does not mince words when it comes to making a point about his vision for an Arab-free Israel. But like all barking dogs, Lieberman can and will be co-opted once in power. He's is a one-man party, whose success rode on understandable fear and confusion. Once the dust settles and Lieberman is offered a seat at the table, he will tow the line pretty much like he did in the past. Election talk (not only Lieberman's) ought to be taken with a grain of salt.

And if not, and he does become too strong for the liking of the powers that be, then I'm sure the public prosecution junta will make sure he is sidelined with incessant investigations and imaginary lawsuits.

The Morning After

A boring election campaign has yielded predictably boring results. With Kadima and Likud tied and a right-wing bloc majority, Bibi - as expected - is going to be the next prime minister. The best Kadima can hope for is a few seats around the government table, to avoid its certain demise in opposition.

With the current electoral system in place, Israel is unable to extricate itself from the political deadlock that has been haunting it for the better part of the last three decades. The most pressing item on the new government's agenda is changing the system, but given the results this is highly unlikely to happen.

So this morning, the countdown for the next election begins. My guess is 2011.