Sign of the Times

A picture published in Haaretz yesterday:

 

The picture shows that ubiquitous feature of public beaches in Israel: the guy who sells ice cream from a box. When we were young, the seller would carry the box himself, announcing his wares with that monotonous cry every Israel can mimick: “artik, artik”. No longer. Nowadays he can afford to hire a foreign worker (I’m guessing by the colour of the skin) to do the carrying for him, while he takes care of the business transactions (note the money belt).

On a side note: the difference in status is evidenced also by the footwear. While the boss is donning a pair or Crocs (retail price: 200 shekels), the employee is wearing cheap plastic sandals, probably bought for a few shekels at the old bus station in Tel Aviv.

Cool Biz Revisited

 

Well, I was wrong.

Four summers ago, when the Japanese Government launched the “Cool Biz” campaign, I thought it wouldn’t catch on. But this week in Japan I held all my meetings with no jacket or tie, and most people in the room with me were dressed similarly. In fact, in one of the meetings I saw the following note posted next to the lift:

And the same was true in Korea last week: no suit/tie from June to September.

But nothing comes for free. The price is no air conditioning (as I experienced in Seoul), or air conditioning set to a high temperature (in Tokyo). I’m not sure the price is worth it. I’d rather freeze in a suit and tie than sweat in a shirt.

Eternal Child vs. Old Man

I must be getting old.

I woke up here in Japan on Friday morning to see the news breaking about Michael Jackson’s death. After some meetings I came back to the hotel with a couple of hours to spare before Shabbat. So I decided to go downstairs to the gym. I turned on the TV in front of the treadmill and tuned in to BBC News.

For the entire 40 minutes or so that I was on the treadmill, the only thing on BBC News was Michael Jackson. That included two or three “world news” updates, which updated only on Michael Jackson. And ever since – it’s been 3 days now – I still see Michael Jackson pretty much everywhere I turn: newspapers, internet or TV.

OK, I know he was popular. I think I even bought “Thriller” when I was in high school (or at least listened to it quite a lot). But is his passing away really so important as to overshadow practically everything else that is going on in the world? He was only a singer, for Pete’s sake! And one that was seriously disturbed and socially inept. He was pretty successful in mutilating his own body though… But a cultural icon? Give me a break.

So to many he might be the “eternal child”. But this old man really has had enough. May he rest in peace (and leave us in peace).

(PS – I was much more saddened to hear about the passing away of Jo Amar, whose songs I grew up with and who was a personal friend of my father’s).

Aunt Bunny is Coming to Get Me

Ages ago, I used to listen to Eddie Murphy’s comedy sketches (on tape, this is before CDs). The funniest one was the one describing a typical Sunday BBQ gathering of his family, during which his drunk father would lash out at each of the family members in a vivid, explicit and hilarious fashion, proclaiming: “This is my house! And if you don’t like it, you can kiss my ass!” (The jokes were not politically-correct, to say the least, but hey, this was the early 80s.)

Anyway, one of the unforgettable characters in that sketch was Aunt Bunny, who used to scare little Eddie because she had a moustache bigger than his father’s. He would have nightmares and wake up screaming: “Aunt Bunny is coming to get me!”

This morning I was reading the newspaper on my flight out of Tel Aviv and the economic section was plastered with Shari Arison’s press conference yesterday to launch her new book. Now, that’s some disturbed woman.

For some reason, reading about Arison reminded me of Aunt Bunny. I can definitely see myself waking up at night screaming: “Shari Erison is coming to get me!”.

The Gullible West

If the matter were not so serious, one could have had a good laugh about the coverage in Western media of the post-election unrest in Iran.

Newspaper headlines about a coup d’etat, Amanpour’s appropriately frowning reports “from the street”, Sarkozy’s populist slogans – all show a deep misunderstanding of Iran and the forces that drive its theocratic regime. The image of Moussavi as a gentle reformer that represents an antithesis of the rabid Ahmadinejad, is beyond laughable. Not only is Moussavi a fanatic in his own right; the President, no matter the size or colour of his beard, is nothing but a glorified puppet. The Council of Guardians (whose members include the likes of Jannati and Larijani, who don’t believe in elected government), and of course the Supreme Leader himself, are the ones that call the shots.

This mistaken and gullible attitude towards Iran betrays an ignorance that permeates not only public opinion but, more worryingly, also official policy. It numbs the senses of Western leaders and deviates attention away from a serious debate about how the world should be tackling this dangerous and rogue regime.

Summary of Bibi’s Speech Yesterday

 

The Uncommon Reader, by Alan Bennett

I bought a few books in London this week and while packing for the flight back home I put The Uncommon Reader in my bag simply because it is a slim book. I was holding the book while walking down the aisle to my seat, and this man smiled widely at me from his seat, pointed to the book, and said (in Hebrew): “This is the funniest book in the world”. I told him I haven’t started reading it yet, and he said: “lucky you!”. So when I sat down in my spacious EL AL economy-class seat and opened the book, expectations were high.

Alan Bennett is the author of known West End plays, most recently “The History Boys”. In this book he weaves an exquisitely lovely and quintessentially British story about Queen Elizabeth II becoming an avid reader in her old age. Chasing her dogs on a walk through the palace grounds, she stumbles upon a travelling library van, where she meets Norman, who works in the royal kitchens. The young boy introduces Her Majesty to the world of books and becomes her confidante in the matter of reading, after the Queen promotes him from the kitchen to become her personal assistant. She struggles through the first book – which she borrowed from the library van only out of her “sense of duty” – but quickly enough she starts devouring books at a brisk rate.

Reading eventually interferes with her duties as Queen and people around her conspire to return things to normal. She embarrasses the Prime Minister and other dignitaries by asking them about their literary preferences, only to discover most of them do not read. The book builds to a crescendo when the Queen decides to dabble in writing herself and takes the necessary (and logical) step to allow her to do so.

This book is a love poem for reading, so any reader will love it. The humour is good and I did laugh out loud a couple of times (to the consternation of my fellow travellers). Even though I wouldn’t necessarily label it as “the funniest book in the world”, it is a book I recommend with all my heart.

Obama and Bibi

President’s Obama appeasement speech in Cairo last week (a.k.a the “Salaam Aleikum speech”, see previous post) ruffled a few feathers in Israel, particularly those of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu. The two leaders spoke on the phone yesterday, and if we are to believe the media, then this is a picture of Obama during that phone call:

As they say: a picture is worth a thousand words.

Note the hand gesture. Note the feet on the table (side question: would you catch a Japanese politician with his feet up on the table? Not in a million years). Note the mouth open in speech. Note the eyes. You can almost hear Obama saying: “I’m telling you the way it is, Bibi”.

I would have loved to see a picture of the other side of this conversation. I can almost see the beads of sweat on Bibi’s forehead…

Obama and the Holocaust

So Obama gave his appeasement speech to the Muslim world. And, true to form, he made sure not to forget to mention everyone and everything. Here is what he had to say about Israel:

Around the world, the Jewish people were persecuted for centuries, and anti-Semitism in Europe culminated in an unprecedented Holocaust. Tomorrow, I will visit Buchenwald, which was part of a network of camps where Jews were enslaved, tortured, shot and gassed to death by the Third Reich. Six million Jews were killed - more than the entire Jewish population of Israel today. Denying that fact is baseless, ignorant, and hateful. Threatening Israel with destruction - or repeating vile stereotypes about Jews - is deeply wrong, and only serves to evoke in the minds of Israelis this most painful of memories while preventing the peace that the people of this region deserve.

Fair enough. But immediately following that come the Palestinians:

On the other hand, it is also undeniable that the Palestinian people - Muslims and Christians - have suffered in pursuit of a homeland. For more than sixty years they have endured the pain of dislocation. Many wait in refugee camps in the West Bank, Gaza, and neighboring lands for a life of peace and security that they have never been able to lead. They endure the daily humiliations - large and small - that come with occupation. So let there be no doubt: the situation for the Palestinian people is intolerable. America will not turn our backs on the legitimate Palestinian aspiration for dignity, opportunity, and a state of their own.

I don’t know why Obama felt he had to mention the Holocaust. And, undeniably, the Palestinians do deserve a state of their own and an end to their suffering. But following up on the Holocaust with an insinuated parallel to the suffering of the Palestinians is a grave mistake. It detracts from the message that the Holocaust deniers are wrong and it makes an implicit comparison where such a comparison does not, and cannot, exist. In his unrelenting quest to please everyone Obama has (unintentionally?) made a grave faux pas.

The same goes for his later mention of Iran and the nuclear threat, where he lumped the Iranians with an amorphous mention of the NPT. But that’s another discussion.

Obama’s credit is running out fast. My guess is a real test of his global leadership is not far away. We will then know if this great orator can also execute.

Travelling and Swine Flu

I travelled through 6 different airports this past week, and witnessed the different attitude in each to the swine flu scare:

Ben Gurion airport, Tel Aviv (departing): nothing, not a mention anywhere

Incheon airport, Seoul (arriving): a health form and a quick temperature scan before immigration

Gimpo airport, Seoul (departing): nothing

Haneda airport, Tokyo (arriving): a health form, hand washing with antiseptic liquid and a one-by-one thermal temperature scan before immigration, a form to carry while in Japan with contact information if symptoms occur

Narita airport, Tokyo (departing): nothing

Pudong airport, Shanghai (arriving): a detailed health form, the air crew took temperaure of each passenger, upon landing – scary looking uniformed quarantine officials came on board and checked each passenger again for fever, another inspection before immigration

Pictures from inside the Air China aircraft, after landing in Shanghai, a definite “Cassandra Crossing” moment:

Couple of observations:

• Countries don’t care about those leaving, only about those entering. What about all the talk of international cooperation? Wouldn’t it make sense to stop infected people getting on the plane in the first place?
• The outbreak numbers don’t match the level of inspection (Japan has hundreds of cases yet its inspection is less strict than that of China, with 11 cases).

(By the way: I tried to post this while in Shanghai, but the connection to the Blogger server was blocked. Not only for posting, but also for viewing the blog. No access to YouTube either. Welcome to the People’s Republic of China!).

The Pope in Israel

I didn’t follow much the news about the Pope’s visit to Israel last week. I once had the pleasure to shake the Pope’s hand. Not this one, but the previous, previous, previous one. The one just before the one that was (probably) killed. At the time I didn’t realise how momentous the moment was. I guess it was due to my young age; I was barely a teenager.

Anyway, so because I didn’t follow the news, I was happy that Jon Stewart summarised the Pope’s visit for me.

The Funniest Car Review I’ve Read

Honda Insight 1.3 IMA SE Hybrid

The Road, by Cormac McCarthy

The Road is probably the worst book I could have chosen to read on the week before my son’s Bar Mitzvah.

McCarthy tells the story of the journey of a father and son across America, westwards towards the sea. Following an unspecified catastrophe – probably a nuclear holocaust or a global warming disaster – humanity is almost wiped out entirely, as are most species. The few humans still alive are organised mostly into bands of cannibals hunting other humans for survival. The landscape is desolate and covered with ash, no plants grow and the sun is obscured by dark clouds. This catastrophe happened years ago and the boy was born shortly thereafter, so this is the world he knows. His mother committed suicide, after she lost all hope, blaming the father he had no courage to do the right thing. The father agonises over his decision to “carry the fire” and wonders whether he’ll have the courage to kill his own son if worse comes to worst.

Reading this book literally made me feel sick. I had no idea this is what I was getting into; I bought the book because I read somewhere that McCarthy is worthy of a nobel prize. The writing is surprisingly simple and non-pretentious, adding to the overwhelming effect of the story. The horror scenes come out of nowhere and are like a punch in the stomach. I’m not going to go into much detail about the plot as I resolved to try and forget this book the minute I finished reading it.

Fat chance; this is a book that will haunt the reader for a long time, especially if the reader is a father to a small boy.

Letter to Our Son

This weekend we celebrated our son’s Bar Mizvah.

Over the past few months I gathered some divrey Torah from rabbis and greetings from family and friends, to compile a small booklet for the occasion. It wasn’t easy to keep this little project a secret, but we managed. He got to see the booklet (24 pages) for the first time only on his birthday, last Friday.

The booklet ends with a letter to our son, the text of which I copy here (sorry, Hebrew only):

 

מכתב מאמא ואבא

ז' אייר תשס"ט, 1 במאי 2009

הרמב"ן פותח את האגרת לבנו בפסוק: "שְׁמַע בְּנִי מוּסַר אָבִיךָ, וְאַל תִּטֹּשׁ תּוֹרַת אִמֶּךָ" (משלי א, ח). עם הגיעך לגיל מצוות, ראינו לנכון לכתוב לך מספר דברים שיהיו, בעזרת השם, בבחינת מוסר שתשמע ותורה שלא תיטוש

אגרת הרמב"ן מודפסת בסידור שלך. הקפד לקרוא בה מדי פעם בפעם. עצותיו, על אף שנכתבו לפני מאות שנים, הן עצות נבונות ונכונות גם היום

אתה ילד נבון וסקרן, הניחן בכושר זכרון נפלא. הקפד לשים לב תמיד לפרטים. הקשב לא רק למילה הנאמרת אלא גם לדברים שנרמזים ואינם נאמרים. שמור על היכולת להסתכל על המציאות בצורה רחבה, שכן זו תאפשר לך להבחין בין עיקר לטפל ולקבוע סדר עדיפויות הגיוני ובריא

מגיל צעיר אתה אוהב לקרוא ספרים. קרא בתנ"ך באופן קבוע, שכן הוא "ספר הספרים". למד הרבה גמרא, ובעיון, שכן התלמוד טומן בחובו יסודות חשובים: ראייה רחבה עם ירידה לפרטים, חשיבה עקבית המלווה בהסתכלות ביקורתית וקביעת מסקנות מעשיות תוך קבלת דעות מנוגדות. ככל שתעמיק בלימוד תורה, כך תלמד להעריך יותר את המורשת של עמנו, מורשת שאתה חלק ממנה

אמר החכם באדם: "טוֹב אֲשֶׁר תֶּאֱחֹז בָּזֶה וְגַם מִזֶּה אַל תַּנַּח אֶת יָדֶךָ, כִּי יְרֵא אֱלֹהִים יֵצֵא אֶת כֻּלָּם" (קהלת ז, יח). אל תגביל עצמך לתחום אחד ברכישת ידע. עולם ומלואו פתוח בפניך וכל שעליך לעשות הוא לטפח ולהזין את יצר הסקרנות שבך, וללקט מכל הטוב העומד בפניך. אך זכור: לא כל מה שכתוב הוא בהכרח גם נכון. למד להתייחס בביקורתיות לכל דעה

כבד כל אדם באשר הוא אדם, יהודי ושאינו יהודי, גם אם אינך מסכים לדעותיו או לאורח חייו. היה רגיש לרגשותיהם של אחרים והשמר פן תלבין פני אחרים בשוגג. הקשב מבלי לשפוט. אל תתגאה על הבריות וטפח את מידת הענווה, היא מידתו של אבי הנביאים. זכור, כי המשפחה היא העוגן היציב ביותר בחייך, ממנה באת ואליה תוכל לפנות גם בעת צרה, שכן היא תהיה תמיד שם בשבילך

כבן נאמן לעמך ולמדינתך זכור כי המשולש "עם ישראל, תורת ישראל וארץ ישראל" הוא משולש שווה צלעות. אל תזניח צלע אחת על חשבון צלע אחרת. אל תיגרר אחר אלו שינסו לשכנע אותך שהיאחזות ברגב אדמה חשובה משמירה על חיים משותפים תקינים עם חברך השומר על מצוות אחרות ממך. המדינה היא אמצעי, ולא מטרה

חכמינו זכרונם לברכה לימדונו ש"דרך ארץ קדמה לתורה" וכן ש"אם אין קמח אין תורה". כלכל אורחותיך כך שלא תצטרך לא לידי מתנות בשר ודם ולא לידי הלוואתם. דאג לעמוד על רגליך שלך לפני שתחליט, בבוא בעת, להקים משפחה ולקחת בכך אחריות גם על חייהם של אחרים

אתה נכנס לעולם המבוגרים, עולם המשלב טוב ורע, עצב ואושר. אל תיפול לעצת היצר הרע המפתה אותך להתמקד בחצי הכוס הריקה. גם ברגעים הקשים ביותר אל תתן לכעס או ליאוש להשתלט על חייך. האחז באושר ומקד את מחשבותיך ומעשיך בדברים טובים. והחשוב מכל: "דע לפני מי אתה עומד", וכך לעולם לא תהיה לבד

אם רק תרצה, תוכל: אל תגידו יום יבוא – הביאו את היום! כי לא חלום הוא… יענקל'ה רוטבליט

בננו היקר, אנו מעבירים לך באהבה להבה קטנה דולקת: את המורשת, הנסיון והידע שירשנו ושצברנו. אם תתעלם מהלהבה, או חלילה תתייחס אליה בזלזול, היא עלולה לכבות. אך אם תדע לטפל בה נכון – מתי לגונן עליה ומתי לאפשר לה לנשום אויר בכוחות עצמה – אזי היא תאיר לך ותחמם אותך גם בלילות האפלים ביותר. ובבוא היום, תוכל אתה להעביר את הלהבה לילדיך שלך

אוהבים עד אין קץ

אמא ואבא

Boycott “Starboocks”

If you’ve ever wondered how a few million Jews manage to outsmart hundreds of millions of Muslims, here’s a partial explanation:

 

“Passengers Requiring Extra Space”

Under the politically-correct heading “Passengers Requiring Extra Space”, United Airlines announced they would charge (in certain circumstances) obese passengers travelling in economy class for an extra seat.

About time. I’ve always wondered why I needed to squeeze myself in my already-small seat because of a particularly fat person sitting next to me. Or why the airline would charge me for an extra 10KG in my baggage when the person who checked in before me was at least 50KG heavier than me.

To make this fair, there needs to be a mechanism that allows for people who are obese for reasons beyond their control (e.g. illness) to be exempt from paying the extra fare. But for the vast majority of those who are obese because of their own poor judgement and lack of self-control, I say: about time!

A Pesach Surprise

I know I must be the last person in the civilised world that has seen this, but I have Pesach as an excuse; I was cut off for a few days this week.

Once in a while, very very seldom, there is something on TV that is worth watching (the problem, is, of course, that you need to wade through gallons of dung before stumbling upon the occasional gem). I don’t have TV, but fortunately there is YouTube. A friend send me the link just after the holiday and I admit it stirred something in my old cynical soul.

She is 47 years old, she is not beautiful by conventional standards, and she sports a double chin and bushy eyebrows. But when she opens her mouth to sing, all these external features fade away to reveal the beauty inside. And then, when the singing ends, one is left to wonder about the stereotyped world we live in.

Shocking Testimony

Following is a shocking testimony from an IDF soldier who participated in the fighting in Gaza a couple of months ago:

One day we were on a foot patrol next to this Palestinian village. We saw children playing in the streets next to some houses. There was nothing for us to do there, so we walked on. However, one of the soldiers, let’s call him Yuval, broke off from our group and disappeared. When he came back, a couple of minutes later, he looked somewhat excited and there were a few drops of blood on his shirt, but he refused to answer our questions about his strange disappearance.

Later that day, as we were turning in for the night, I overheard a conversation between two of my friends. They were discussing this strange incident and one of them said he saw what happened. Apparently Yuval walked up to two young Palestinian children in that village, drew out his knife and stabbed one of them repeatedly until the kid fell to his knees. The other kid started running away, but Yuval easily caught up with him and stabbed him too. He then threw his knife into some bushes and ran back to our group.

I was too stunned to ask my friends any questions. Apparently it all happened very fast so only a couple of the soldiers even noticed Yuval went missing.

After the war I heard that the Palestinians were complaining that an IDF soldier murdered a 16 year old boy and wounded his 7 year old friend. I realised they were referring to what Yuval did.

I cannot imagine how a human being can walk up to two innocent children and stab them like that. It’s horrible.

Plato Turning in his Grave

Plato must be turning in his grave. When he recommended, 2,500 years ago, that the rulers need to be “philosopher kings”, he could not have suspected that the important post of Finance Minister would be given to the likes of Yuval Steinitz.

Invincible Japanese Man

Surviving a nuclear bomb is pretty impressive. Surviving two nuclear bombs is bloody remarkable.

The Guardian bring the story  of Tsutomo Yamaguchi, the only known survivor of both atomic bombs dropped on Japan at the end of the WW2. He was on a business trip in Hiroshima on August 6, 1945 and suffered serious burns. He returned to his hometown of Nagasaki the following day, in time to catch the second bomb on August 9.